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Nominations close March 31! I was having coffee with a woman I'd met online when she beaned me with a non sequitur:.

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Then it happened again: On another first date I got hit with the same question. This time I couldn't shrug it off.

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Hmm … had a secret "sex gap" opened between boomer men and women when I wasn't looking? The better question to ask a date: Is sex still an important part of a relationship for you?

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My own sex gap was the lengthy stretch of celibacy I'd endured at the end of a failing marriage. Now, with a painful divorce behind me, I'd been thinking about sex a fair bit — OK, a lot — but hadn't met anyone special yet.

Cute Girls in anderson ALASKA that was key, because I was determined not to revert to old dating patterns think California circa that centered on casual sex. Instead, I wanted to fall in love first.

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Did that make me not still "sexual"? Forging an emotional connection as a czsual to sex, I quickly discovered, is a truth not yet universally acknowledged.

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I had just had dinner with a woman I'd dated twice. We were talking on her sofa when suddenly she leaned in and kissed me. More from politeness dasual passion I felt only lukewarm about her I returned the kiss.

Then she sat up and pulled her sweater over her head. Shock must have shown on my face.

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Seeing it, she dropped the S-bomb: The scene wasn't steamy, but I was steamed. Countless online posts by boomer women complain of men who demand sex on the second date, and sometimes on the first.

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I've come to sympathize with them: Devaluing the goal of getting to know someone first strikes me as both dismissive and disrespectful. Indeed, men and women! An emotional bond enhances both partners' sense of safety, confidence and desirability.

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Midlife sex with a stranger, by contrast, seems more like masturbating. Where's the love in that? I finally did meet a woman with relationship potential. Before she could ask me the Dreaded Question, I hastened to aants that I was still sexual but wanted to establish an emotional connection first.

She smiled in agreement. Our previous relationships had taught us that becoming sexual too quickly was usually a mistake.

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